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Episode 91 of The Vitruvian Podcast, is a cross-upload of my recent appearance on The  ⁨@Barbarian_Banter⁩  podcast with my friends  ⁨@Jonaskilker⁩  and  ⁨@Thegreatdane269⁩  .

I enjoyed the conversation so much I wanted to share it with you all here. Excited to get back into things with the podcast and long form. More to come very soon.

Follow Jonas and his work:

X: https://x.com/JonasKilker

IG: https://www.instagram.com/jonaskilker

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/ ⁨@Jonaskilker⁩  

Follow Dane and his work:

X: https://x.com/thegreatdane269

IG: https://www.instagram.com/the_great_dane469/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thegreatdane269

Three flights with tight layovers means that a 2 hour delay collapses your whole itinerary. Over $700 in flights down the drain. $700 I didn’t have to spend again. $700 I didn’t have in the first place.

I scrambled, sweating across the Atlanta airport in an attempt to save the onward journey. No flights out in time to make the connections. I sat down next to a homeless guy charging his phone, defeated. The same level of defeated that he would also be when he awoke to the outlets not working.

Powerless and broke.

I went home, tail between my legs, staring down the barrel of a cold, grey Atlanta January. Grim and disappointing. Not a very ‘Fire Horse’ start to my 2026.

However, in a miraculous collaboration between GPT and the Indian Amex call center, I was able to recoup just enough of my ticket losses to rebook my path to Oaxaca a week later.

So I booked it on credit with the plan to earn it back. I’d done it before, I could do it again. (Not financial advice)

God had other plans.

Within a few days of landing in Mexico, the wheels started to come off.

The recent business partnership I joined was showing it’s true colors. What seemed liked Promise emerged as perjury.

The more questions I asked, the less satisfying ‘answers’ I received. I was misled, and appeared to be working with/for scammers. Sold a lie just like their client base.

Just like that, I was in Mexico, in debt, with no way to earn my keep.

While not ideal, I had hit bottom before. I had already been ‘broke’.

Once you’ve learned the deep, painful and terrifying lesson once: There is nothing to fear, you are blanketed with perfect peace. You know, as a matter of experience, that it’s going to be ok. It always is.

But it did piss me off. Once again I projected my morality and mode of conduct on to someone else; The blue-eyed belief that we can trust one another based on honor and honesty.

‘Et tu, Brute?’

I spent the month in the Sun. I prayed often. I spoke with brothers. I read Augustine. I wrestled with God.

I booked the trip on faith, trusting that following the call to adventure on your Hero’s journey, regardless the cost, risk, rationale is always rewarded in the end.

The prayers I planted last year in Turkey were working. The roots were growing deep into the ground so they could reach toward heaven. All I saw in Mexico was barren land.

I left Mexico close to $20k in debt, tan, and jobless.

Now I’m making that much in a month.

We live in a world that responds to your intentions and feelings.

If you feel deeply, you will experience Life the same way. Your intolerance for mediocrity and shallow experience requires you to drown; To trust that you will find air at the ocean floor. Trust the ocean and Her waves, She wants to see that you are brave.

The right doors are opening, but this means the wrong ones must shut. A goodbye now means a cálida bienvenida soon.

Thanks for reading, share if you feel called. Otherwise…

Mythologize Yourself; You Are The Renaissance.

What would that mean about the present day?

Tip-toeing Turkey across mine-fields of marble forced me to reflect on one of the most evil lies of our time: The lie of scarcity.

How would you live if you knew that you were divinely provided for?

If you knew, as a matter of fact, that everything you could ever need, desire, or imagine was yours upon request. If you knew that you could eat like a king, and have a mansion all to yourself? Space to sprawl and play with no landlord, tax, or constraint. How then would you live your life? Would you still show up to work on Monday? Would you spend so much time gathering greenbacks?

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?^{[a] 28} And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹ yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹ Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

³⁴ “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. - Matthew 6

Almost everyone (including yourself) is spending most of their life force (~5/7 days of the week) in exchange for debt notes to pay for a box to live in.

These debt notes keep your lights on, plastic cubed meat in the fridge, ‘fossil fuel’ in the gas tank, and if you’re lucky give you a day or two of rest on Saturns-day and Sun-day. Does it seem like a fair trade to you?

What is your life worth to the ‘free’ market?

The only reason to buy what they are selling is if you think it’s the only thins on the menu. Children raised in abuse seek it from their future partners. The light is blinding if you have only known the dark.

But who told you that our world is scarce?

Have you ever asked the sun to rise and greet you in the morning? Begged the birds to sing you their song? Even the trees bow down to place fruit in arms reach.

I see nothing but abundance.

Turkey re-enforced to me that scarcity is a modern construct. It’s a careful cage over our abundant past, told in the present, to guide the future.

I saw more marble buried in the ground than cover the countertops of the West. Multiple massive theaters the size of the ‘the’ Colosseum only 30 minutes from one another. Hundreds of empty bathes that used to flow with holy water and frankincense. As many temples to Artemis, Hercules, and Zeus as Baptist churches in my hometown in Georgia. So many oranges growing that they fell to the ground by the hundreds. Enough to feed the village, and fill dumpsters with the spoiled.

So why lie about the past?

Because a regressive past produces low expectations for today.

If we came from savages scrapping to survive in the sand, then Onlyfans and Ubereats feel like progress. If life expectancy was low, and resources were scarce, then Amazon drones and glass cube towers feel like abundance.

But if our past was paved with marble, perhaps we lost something along the way.

Thanks for reading, share/subscribe if you feel called, otherwise remember:

Mythologize Yourself; You The Renaissance.

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In episode 90 of The Vitruvian Podcast, I sat down with Dru, also known as 'Drutang'. Dru is a self-declared liberty enthusiast, crypto participator, author, and a man who was a large part of my 'red pill' journey in the world of so called 'conspiracy'. In this episode we discuss his journey to the truth through waking up all the way to becoming a father and returning to Christ. I'm excited to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

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X: https://x.com/DrutangReborn

And as I ramble along, I'm reflecting on why I find myself traveling; What it does for me, what it can do for you, and why it really matters.

I don't know much about my parents. I wish I knew more.

I could have asked more questions. They could have shared more. Thank God there is still time left for both.

But of the things I do know, I know about their study-abroad experience in University. Stories that captured me when I was young, and shaped my future more than I knew when they told me those tales as a boy.

In fact, it was one of the few things that my parents directly recommend that I do with my life. They were laissez faire otherwise, but on this they were fairly insistent. They did not care so much what I studied at Uni, but that I did find myself abroad for at least one semester.

Outside of the adventure stories, exposure to out heritage and culture, the beauty of Europe, etc. the reason I locked in on it was their conviction. I could feel that they meant it. I could see the spark in my father's eyes when he cast himself backward in time to reminisce. A spark that was more rare to see than I would like.

So I went.

We landed in Paris, and from there saw Venice, Florence, Rome, Vienna, Munich, Prague, Brugge, Oxford and more. I took a girl on a first date in London. Our second date was the south of France. Just a bit more romantic than the suburbs back home. I studied at Oxford, and ate full-English breakfasts wishing I was wearing my Ravenclaw robes.

I moved around a lot, slept very little, drank more than I could fathom now, laughed, loved, and altered my life forever.

Traveling does something to you. It's hard to define, even harder to describe, and best experienced for yourself. The magic on the other side of a cheap plane ticket is something even Merlin can respect.

In some sense, almost nothing changes.

You are the same as you were 11 hours before your flight, only tired and dehydrated. The bag of clothes is the same as how packed it. Your shoes fit the same, and your fashion sense did not magically catch up to the Europeans while you slept-watched shitty movies on an 8-inch screen.

But somehow, everything is different.

The smell, the sounds, the people, the buildings, the money, but above all the energy. It's palpable.

You feel it in the Parisian pastry shop, the German Raw milk dispensary, and as you crane your neck up to gaze upon The Angels and Saints of St. Peter's Basilica. It's in the dirt as you walk barefoot in South America, and in the overhead waves on the cliffside coasts of Bali.

All God's Beauty declares his majesty, and for some reason, just like Santiago, we have to leave our homes to realize we had Magic at home as well.

Mathematics tells us that a point on a cartesian plane changes it's characteristics and behavior simply by placing it at different X,Y,Z coordinates.

Stated outright: Your location changes you.

Literally and fundamentally you become different. Your brain functions differently than it did before. New synapses are firing and old ones get to finally take a break. It's a little scary, very exciting, and altogether strange.

It's hard to get lost on public transportation at home where you can read all the signs. But pulling an all-nighter to avoid paying for an extra night in the hostel is a rite of passage. The American mind especially benefits from flanuering the streets with no plan, a few coffees, and accidentally ending the day with over 35,000 steps.

To be clear, I've met many wanderers who are lost, most of them, in fact. There is nothing to find out there that will fix what you've got going on inside.

But I have yet to discover a better way to find yourself. The world is a mirror, and travel let's you adjust the lighting.

The grass will always be greenest where you water it. Traveling is no panacea. But for every 10 farmers there is 1 ranch hand who yearns to take his bronco past the barbed wire fence, and go where the railroad won't take him.

So if you also yearn for the steppe, book the ticket.

Go West Young Man.

Thanks for reading, share if you feel called. Otherwise talk soon.

p.s. Vlogs of my travel are live and upcoming on YouTube ;)

Mythologize Yourself; Be The Renaissance.

From elixirs of healing, to a cloak of invisibility, a custom sets of armor, a sword buried in stone, a wands of destiny, or perhaps a ring to rule them all;

The same can be true for you. Why settle for off-the-shelf, drop-shipped, mass-manufactured mediocrity?

I am obsessed with customizing everything in my life.

Nothing I own remains 'deadstock' for long. Every new purchase is met with scissors, markers, the sewing needle, and whatever else the project calls for.

My first custom modification was a SwissGear backpack.

Early life in private school meant strict uniforms, dress code, hair cuts, and school-issued bookbags. Evangelicals aren't exactly known for their self-expression.

But in 3rd or 4th grade this changed.

The weight of the Pearson Propaganda hard-cover tomes finally exceeded our little arms ability to carry them in a canvas tote. For the first time, we were allowed to purchase our own backpacks for school.

And much to my parents chagrin, the factory warrantee on mine did not last long.

I cut the metal zipper-pulls off, and replaced them with paracord. (Not sure if the jingle bothers anyone else, but I've do this to every bag I own). I also felt that the red in the Swiss flag logo clashed with the otherwise blue and white aesthetic of the bag. So I took a hammer to the small glass and enamel logo, and cracked off the red, leaving only chrome behind.

Much better.

While this may seem like the strange and insignificant story of one man's neuroticism, I think there is far more at play.

All my life I have been custom modifying, designing, and creating all the objects in my life. Especially those items that I interact with on a daily basis.

It's more than having cool custom stuff. Through the creation process, I see myself as the cause of my reality. My everyday carry reminds me that I am a CREATOR, and not simply a consumer in this world.

Designing every aspect of your life, down to the sacred objects you wear, is one of your most powerful tools for individuation.

Some people would have you believe that the Self is an illusion and a trap. That transcendence comes from dissolving your ego, and becoming 'one' with reality. That your sense of individuality is a limitation, and an unintended consequence of "The Fall".

I find no accidents in God's creation.

Even Darwin could not avoid the purposeful nature of design. He listened along as the finches sang the beautiful birdsong of creation: a harmonious chorus of form and function.

Make no mistake: Nature selected you.

Generations conspired to bring you here, now, exactly as you are. Your interests, passions, curiosities, idiosyncrasies, and neuroses, make you an irreproducible masterpiece

But all that individuality remains hidden unless you express it.

The world can only assess your unique taste in-so-far as you embody it.

Bearing forth WHO you are, into the material world, is a sacred rite. It's WHY you're here in the first place.

One of the most powerful ways to do so, is by designing every single item in your reality.

This is the power of Life as Mythcraft.

So which way western man?

Dissolve the self and exist in the eternal bliss of oneness with the All?

Or pick up your sword, and don your unique armor of individuation?

I discussed this topic at length in my most recent podcast. You can watch it here and see some examples of the custom items in my life.

Otherwise, Thanks for reading, share if you feel called. Otherwise talk soon.

Mythologize Yourself; Be The Renaissance.

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Because I said that I would.

Each year for my birthday I challenge myself.

This tradition began on my 24th birthday when I challenged myself to complete a 5-day fast and silent retreat. I walked away with a deep sense of accomplishment and pride, and decided that my annual birthday present to myself would be Resistance.

Thus began my birthday 'Misogi'; a ritual of purification. Enter the crucible, and through struggle, purify the spirit.

This birthday ritual guarantees that every year I get to reflect on a massive accomplished goal, and a promise kept to myself. This is self-esteem as soul-craft.

But why NYE? My birthday is in April.

At the begging of 2024 I chose my Misogi as a marathon with no training (I don’t run, nor like to run). I knew it would be a challenge, and certainly not 'fun' in the traditional sense.

Due to international travel this year, I was not able to run on/near my birthday. And because of some recent detox and illness, I only had one day left of 2024 to get it done.

I could have pushed to next year. No one would have judged me for it. I'm not even sure if anyone would have asked. The empty box on my 2024 goals list would have been my little secret.

But Integrity is an inside job. You can never escape the accountability of your own soul. In plain terms: I would have known, and it would have eaten me alive.

So in the end, I thugged it out. It was indeed challenging, deeply humbling, and one of the most painful experiences of my life. I ran for about 10 miles, ran/walked for about 8 more, walked 4, and limped the final 4. (The full behind the scenes vlog will be up on my YouTube channel soon.)

I wouldn’t want to close out 2024 any other way. And starting 2025 incredibly sore just feels right.

Thank you for reading, Share if you feel called, otherwise, talk soon.

Be The Renaissance.

And there's a reason they sold you the lie.

When I say entropy, what comes to your mind?

Most likely it's the idea that the universe is always trending towards more and more disorder. Slowly descending into chaos, and the inevitable heat death of the sun (or some such nonsense).

You likely also believe that this is a law of physics. An immutable, first-principle fact of our world.

It is not.

And I can show you how, and why they convinced you otherwise.

Something that often comes up in the discussion of Truth vs 'conspiracy' is: 'Why would they lie about that?'

Its a fair and important question to ask.

In most cases, if we isolate a single event, the need or reason for subversion/inversion of the truth is hard to see. But when taken in context and concert with it's deceptive brothers and sisters, the truth is self-evident.

For a moment, I want you to suspend your disbelief and rely only on what you observe and experience.

Does it seem like everything is trending toward chaos, naturally? Can you think of any examples in your day-to-day life?

I observe the exact opposite.

Everything I see in the natural world is increasing in structure and order.

Seeds grow into trees; Trees form the forests. Eggs hatch into birds; birds fly as flocks. Adam joined with Eve, and their sons filled the earth.

Man is nature's anti-entropy exemplar.

We begin as the union of two cells, and we end with a beautifully complex, interconnected body. A body full of interdependent systems: skeletal, muscular, fascial, circulatory, lymphatic, respiratory, neuro-chemical, and more.

This body holds space for our mind to order the world, and our spirit to fill it.

We make friends. We build families. We build buildings, cities, teams, businesses, communities, tools, and more. We create stories, and write them in books. We break hearts and heal them with poetry. We feel pain and joy and paint when we can't find the words.

And we share it all with one another.

We are not spiralling towards heat death in 'infinite space'.

The world is Divinely ordered; A Grand Story is being written. It's happening right here and now.

You have a role to play, and a pen to wield.

Entropy is a lie. Chaos is what's unnatural.

So why sell the idea of entropy?

Because when you feel scared and alone, you are easy to control. You stay trapped in the prison of your mind, inactive and constricted because it feels ‘safe’ in there.

And if you're simply a biological machine, playing the hunger games in an amoral, infinite, and cold arena of 'natural selection' it makes sense that you would be.

Do not be afraid.

You are evidence of the Divine order, and an agent who can create more of it. You are not alone. In fact, you are deeply connected.

Do not let anyone convince you otherwise.

And if you're in a lonely stretch right now, CREATE your way out of it. The path to deep connection is genuine self-expression.

I'll leave you with beautiful words from my brother Jung:

Thank you for reading, Share if you feel called, otherwise, talk soon.

Be The Renaissance.

I'm back in the land of the free.

Let me walk you through the wild week that was my return to the US after 8 months away. You'll quickly see why this newsletter finds you a few days late.

My final days in Southeast Asia were a bit more turbulent than I would have liked.

Two days ahead of my departure, I returned to my bungalow, in need of cash Rupiah. To avoid returning home with a pocket full of monopoly money, I had been withdrawing small amounts of cash at a time.

The downside of this strategy was un-realized to me until the fateful moment that I had no bank card to use.

I could have sworn I put it RIGHT. HERE!

My debit card was nowhere to be found. What I believe happened was that it was lying on my bed, and was swallowed by the sheets when the hosts cleaned my room.

They claim they didn't see it, and the laundry people said the same. The truth of these claims, however suspicious, were and are irrelevant. The fact of the matter was that I was cashless, and now also bankless.

My Amex and Discover cards aren't accepted in Asia, and my Visa was now gone. As viewers of the vlog will know, I wasn't exactly flush either way.

However, with a few strategic transfers, and local favors called in, I sorted myself out. Nonetheless, not ideal ahead of 31 hours of international flights.

The following day, with only 24 hours till takeoff, I assumed I was in the clear.

I was wrong.

I awoke in the morning to a ripping headache, fever, full body aches & chills, and some of the most violent diarrhea of my life. My body was in full-on detox mode.

The cherry on top?

I had a sales call and coaching call booked that morning...

With the power of wifi and indomitable Will I was able to fortify myself enough to take both calls from the porcelain throne. Not exactly a regal experience.

After wrapping the calls, I spent the day on the toilet and lying on the ground in the sun. Too tired to move. Too based to want to.

I only left the house to get coconut water, and a tattoo.

Yes, not the optimal combo I would select for recovery either, but I am nothing if not stubborn and a man of my word. After finishing The Bible, the only remaining 2024 goals were a tattoo and a marathon.

The appointment was scheduled a few days prior, and well before my body began to detox the demons. With 300,000 rupiah of sunk-cost-falllacy deposited, I figured I could grit my teeth for a couple hours and make it happen.

I do not recommend getting a tattoo dehydrated and with no sugar in your bloodstream, but I live to tell the tale.

To celebrate a massive personal win from the year, I got a cheeky little Winnie The Pooh, having his fill of the golden Nectar of The Gods.

A tasteful reminder of self-love.

By the grace of God, I awoke the following morning with no symptoms.

One hellish day, but all done and dusted just in time for 31 hours of onward flights back home to see the family.

I replenished my empty vessel with my last liter of raw Lombok milk, 6 raw eggs, honey, and sea salt. Real medicine.

I returned my motorbike, and locked the bungalow for the final time.

Sampai jumpa lagi, Indonesia; Thank you for everything.

Thanks for reading, share if you feel called. Otherwise, talk soon.

Be The Renaissance.

I did.

Every supposed season of celebration was eclipsed by personal dread. I sulked in the shameful shadow.

I now know that it had NOTHING to do with the holidays, my childhood home, the food being served, or the ones serving it.

I didn't love myself.

Because of this, I perceived that I was under attack. My nervous system armed the battlements, but I wasn't under siege.

It was an insurrection.

It's impossible to be your best self on three hours of sleep, dehydrated, and hungry. Spiritual malnourishment is the same.

My emotional cup was empty, so I donned gilded armor to cover festering flesh. Nothing and no one could hurt me. I was already on the job.

All relationships are mirrors.

Your irritation with family during the holiday season is a SYMPTOM, but not the root cause. Real medicine teaches us that symptoms are signals to look inward. If you don't like what you see, you don't like who you are.

Understanding this concept is simple. 'The work' of healing is walking the Knowledge from head to heart.

'The return of the hero' reveals how much he has grown. If you are still triggered upon return, you're destined to spin the loop once again. Your evolution will drag you back into the abyss…

Act three of Campbells mono-myth concludes with re-incorporation into the 'ordinary world'. The ultimate boon is who the Hero became on his journey. His gift is himself, and gets to share it with the ones to whom he said goodbye with teary eyes.

So this holiday season, listen more and talk less.

Observe how your family and friends react to you, and how you react (internally) to them. Class is in session, and for the prepared student, there is a lesson to be learned.

No one debates politics in the emergency room. Death makes priorities painfully obvious. I encourage you to learn the lesson in advance.

I know it's hard when the people closest to you don’t support your growth. But it's normal. You killed the version of you that they knew and loved. Give them the opportunity to love who you became.

Exercise Patience, and emanate Gratitude.

I will also add that distance does make the heart grow fonder. The Hero's journey requires separation. After ~9 months away this year (the longest time apart in my life thus far), I'm looking forward to the holiday hugs.

I return home carrying the Ultimate Boon, with a heart full of Thanksgiving, and a rich understanding why Christmas carries it's namesake.

Thanks for reading, share if you feel called. Otherwise, talk soon.

Be The Renaissance.

Most people believe the opposite, because for them, it's falling apart.

Life slowly erodes as more years distance them from the last time that they were free...

The time when they played like a child. When they took their shoes off and touched the earth. When they spent more time outside. When they stayed up late laughing with friends, and woke up early to catch the sunrise. A time when they weren’t worried and anxious all the time.

Aging is natural. But deteriorating is the fatal error to 'grow up' and 'take life seriously'.

The only reason children tell us what they want to be 'when they grow up' is because we ask them. They seem to have no issue fighting fires and traversing space right away.

The illusion of an ethereal 'tomorrow' is wholly unnatural. Planting the seeds of a permanent future-fixation begins in Kindergarten. Come graduation, the roots of fear are firmly planted.

The 'glory days' end and it's then time to put on a collared shirt, stop smiling, and plan for retirement. Dreams get filed away in manila folders, only to be dusted off at the pearly gates of regret.

360 monthly payments on a 30-year mortgage guarantee you keep your eyes on 'the prize'.

This is by design.

Being an 'Adult' means yearning for a home you can never return to.

But life wasn't 'better' when you were young. You were just participating more deeply.

The fountain of youth is presence. No 5-year-old has a 5-year plan.

And ironically, the best way to actually realize your dreams is total presence. Today is your only access point to tomorrow.

Alexander and Napoleon were masters of the here and now. They both studied Aristotle. Christ and Buddha frequently spoke of the same.

None of them struggled to create the life they envisioned.

The secret to a life of massive accomplishment AND enjoying the process is to live one day at a time.

If you remain present and nourish the soul with play, age will deepen your experience of life. You will also accomplish more than you could have imagined.

I have been peaking every single year of my life so far. I don't intend to stop, and you don't have to either.

Don't take things too seriously, no one makes it out alive.

While everyone else prepares for death,

Get busy livin’.

Thanks for reading, share if you feel called. Otherwise, talk soon.

Be The Renaissance.